Deep into my cups

Let’s talk about a deeply personal thing. The ever popular often duplicated, replicated, and plane ol’ faked ….boobs.  These things are a menace, following is a short list of ways the wonder twins have wronged me.

  • Got stuck momentarily in a cave when i turned sideways thinking i would fit that way, nope.
  • are inconvenient catchers of any food i may drop resulting in stained shirts or worse salsa boob/bra . Nothing says classy like having to fish a wayward anything out of there
  • severely limit the button up shirts i can wear( or shirts in general on the hanger they look fine but on it’s all your too old for that much cleavage)
  • refused to serve their god given purpose of built-in bottle
  • i have not slept on my stomach since i was a preteen

image

Not that it’s ALL bad after all

  • handy shelf for my iPad, or drink, or any other redneck thing i desire
  • if used properly totally counteracts a bad hair day
  • My husband seems fond of them
  • They always hit the wall before my face, kinda an early klutz warning system

Now the reason i brought this up is to tell a work story. Last week i was learning to run a new machine ,  to be completely honest hit and miss but i was gaining on it. I walked away for a minute and when i started working again it seemed to be running faster( the speed had been turned down to ” training lvl” ). And so i though ” i must be doing better they turned it back up , nice” .  Fast forward a few hours and i come back from lunch and this thing is now going impossibly fast, i narrow my eyes and look around for my saboteur .  Let it go i say and get back to work, after changing out product suddenly the machine stops working. I fiddle and poke totally not knowing what i am doing i drag myself over to the boss type person  ” it’s broke” i say. He comes over pokes and fiddles totally not knowing much more than me when suddenly he says you have the speed set to zero. What! I didn’t touch the speed some one is screwing with me…. And then as i brush past the small space between my machine and the support post i notice, my boobs are turning the speed control up or down depending on the direction i am going past my machine.  Thwarted by my own boobs, typical.

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